English
Guidelines for Eliminating Wordiness

• Be clear, concise, and direct by eliminating wordiness (empty words and phrases), passive-voice constructions, buzzwords, redundancy, and unnecessary repetition; eg., (Wordy) Many were drawn by Josephine’s vitality, which was infectious.  (Concise) Many were drawn by Josephine’s infectious vitality.
• Revising sentences for clarity and directness means more than making correct, complete expression.  Revision means making choices about wording that will help your reader to understand your ideas clearly.  It means using a precise and specific vocabulary rather than vague and general words; eg., (Wordy and unclear) Those types of major disciplinary problems are really quite difficult to solve.  (Concise and clear) Disciplinary problems are difficult to solve.
• Wherever possible use active-voice constructions rather than passive-voice constructions; eg., (Active) Jack wrote the letter.  (Passive) The letter was written by Jack.
• Eliminate buzzwords.  Buzzwords are vague, often abstract expressions that sound as if they mean something but are only  “buzzing” or adding noise to your sentence without contributing anything of substance; eg., Basically, she was definitely a nice person.  (Improved) She was friendly.  (Kind, thoughtful, sweet, outgoing, or any other more precise adjective could replace the vague nice.)
• Eliminate redundant writing.  Occasional, intentional repetition can be a powerful technique for achieving emphasis.  Unintended repetition is tedious; eg., In Cinderella, feminine, lady-like actions and behavior are praised and rewarded.  (Improved) In Cinderella, feminine behavior is rewarded.
• Combine sentences that repeat material; eg., In this era of Michael Jackson and Jaye Davison, it might seem that we are moving toward a unisex style of culture.  Jeans and tracksuits, normal wear for both men and women, are signs of a unisex style of culture.  (Improved) In this era of Michael Jackson and Jaye Davison, when jeans and tracksuits are normal wear for both men and women, it might seem that we are moving toward a unisex style of culture.
• Revise sentences that begin with expletives.  Expletive constructions (it is, there is, there are, there were) are almost always unnecessary and should be replaced with direct, active verbs, whenever possible; eg., There were many reasons why Celine was more successful in Europe than America.  (Improved) Celine was more successful in Europe than America for several reasons.